Is this the end?

30 Oct

So attempt two at GMAT happened today. And after deceptively increasing scores in the mock and admittedly a better understanding of the exam, I bombed again. The shock and utter disbelief gave away to despair as I called TH to tell him that I let him down yet again. While in the first round, I refused to accept the message that the mock scores were giving me, for this attempt, my mock scores ranged at least 60-100 points from the last time around. I thought that was a good sign.

So now, is this the end of the MBA road for me? This one exam/score can possibly nullify the rest of my application. I am below the median scores for all schools that I want to apply to. But as I was thinking these justifications out in my head, I also realized, that this is it. These are all the objections that I have/can get for my application.

On the other hand, do I believe that getting a low GMAT score will stop me being who I am or what I do at work? Did not having a GMAT score stop any of the opportunities that I have had so far or will stop me from going out for any in the future? Sure, for that matter, even if I don’t apply, will I stop pursuing and building a profile in shaping strategy for a company? Is everything that I have done in school, college, and work so far, have no value without this GMAT score to confirm it?

To these many questions, my answer was no. GMAT failure doesn’t and hasn’t changed any of these things and likely has little impact on anything except my application and the number of schools that I had originally wanted to apply to. The reason why I want to do an MBA is still the same. The reason why I want to apply to certain schools is also the same. The onus is on me, as it always was, to convince the admissions committees of these schools that I am still the right candidate, with one less data point to support their decision-making process – the GMAT score. A typical candidate would have their college acads+GMAT to quantify her mental chops along with professional and extra curricular aspects. In my case, since my GMAT is now down the drain, I just have one less point than everyone else to make the same case.

I could potentially give this whole thing up with the pathetic GMAT score. But 5-10-15 years down the line, an older, probably wiser me, would definitely question, how I expected anyone else to have faith in my dreams and aspirations, if I didn’t have the conviction enough to follow them through their logical end. From the day I started this journey, I knew that I won’t be an MBA because of my GMAT, but inspite of it. Well now, let me start this journey in earnest with the GMAT behind me.

Some dreams stay with you forever,
drag you around but bring you back to where you were,
Some dreams keep on gettin better,
gotta keep believin’ if you wanna know for sure


At the end of this, I may not be successful, but I’ll at least know for sure.


Posted by on October 30, 2013 in Future, MBA


Tags: , , , ,

10 responses to “Is this the end?

  1. cavegirlmba

    October 30, 2013 at 6:22 am

    There are also other factors playing

  2. cavegirlmba

    October 30, 2013 at 6:23 am

    A big role. Will keep my fingers crossed for you.

    • Ellie

      October 30, 2013 at 12:01 pm

      Thanks so much for your support. I do find that there are not too many self narrated stories out there that I can take heart from. It is always ‘I know a guy who knows a guy’, so if anything, this shud help people in the same boat as I am and looking to deal with it. And that is why each vote of confidence counts a hundred times 🙂

      • cavegirlmba

        October 30, 2013 at 2:35 pm

        Uh, if I would write about all the “guys I know who knows a guy” I would never finish typing 😉
        Will make a wish for you in my wish app (don’t laugh, it works).

  3. poeticquant

    November 1, 2013 at 4:00 pm

    A few things.

    1. This is an opportunity for you to find schools that view their applicants very holistically. You have some great things going for you, you just need to find a platform to show them. School’s with more essays, open invitations, and easy to reach representatives will give you more opportunities to show why that GMAT score does not define you.

    2. As important as GMAT is, it is still just ONE part of the process.

    3. Be realistic. There is a comfort with letting some schools go.

    I’m confident that you will find a school that works with you. Good luck!

  4. Timbob

    November 9, 2013 at 9:16 am

    For my two cents, I would say that if you’ve put all this work into the GMAT and you still genuinely want to apply then do it. It’s a lot of work but you’ve done a lot already – like you say if you don’t you may regret it in the future. If someone makes the decision for you, then ‘C’est la vie’!

  5. John A. Byrne

    December 22, 2013 at 12:48 pm

    I’m the editor of Poets&Quants and would very much like to republish some of your posts on our homepage. We would, of course, include links back to your blog to drive traffic to your site. If this appeals to me, let me know that is is okay.

    John A. Byrne

    • Ellie

      December 22, 2013 at 1:27 pm

      Hi John,

      Thanks for stopping by! Please feel free to link the blog to poet&quants. The site is a go to resource for me during this applications season and am glad to contribute in any way!


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