Monthly Archives: July 2013

Fear of failure…and here we go again!

My thinking on the GMAT…is that…pretty good measure[s] of what a standardized test can measure which is not your intelligence but your ability to commit to do well on a standardized test. Nobody walks into the GMAT cold. People prepare for these tests.”

Deidre Leopold, Managing Director of Admissions & Financial Aid, HBS

I think the famous HBS director has quite the right idea of it and it is the very reason I am hyperventilating. A poor GMAT score, which is a frightening, but a fairly probable outcome of the last few months of slogging for me, will likely not be indicative of me being dumb. But it would certainly be a damning indictment of my ability to buckle down and focus to get through a standardized test that needs preparation and a high degree of perseverance.

I moved my GMAT date to two weeks later to make sense of my abysmal test scores. That Math is not my main problem here is probably what has me baffled the most. Verbal, seriously? This whole exercise, if nothing else, will be such a ego bruiser the way my Verbal scores are moving. 😐 I think ego is also what is keeping my scores from going up and errors from going down. So clearly a loop that I better break out of and fast. I am practicing, analyzing, re-analyzing, trolling GMATClub for tips, tricks, answer key to the actual test that would turn up in front of me…anything that can work to turn this around. Hopefully it will…right?

In a moment of desperation, I submitted my profile for evaluation with EssaySnark on GMATClub. And for better or worse, they gave me a good chance of getting into my dream school subject to a 690-720 range GMAT score. And while this came with usual disclaimers of essays being on the mark, the earth being at certain angle, and other things within and beyond my control, it also is going to make it feel worse if my GMAT bombs. I appear to have worked hard enough professionally to become a good candidate but it is my ability to get this one standardized test wrapped up with a respectable score which will decide whether I should even both doling out the moolah for the apps that will follow.


Posted by on July 31, 2013 in Future, MBA, Rant, To - do


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One month to go…

So now that I have officially wasted the one long weekend before the D-day, I thought I might use these last few hours before heading home from the god-forsaken place that is Wilmington, DE to update my blog instead. The D-day is set for next month and prep for GMAT had been on track until the last few days. I think the abundance of prep material has me bogged down. I started with the standard OG, the Manhattan GMAT guides to brush up my rusty basics and had my prep down on the calendar. My pleasure at striking down chapters, and sets of questions as ‘to-do’ for the day gave me a pleasure that I cannot put down in words yet. 🙂

And then, as word of my GMAT got around, well-meaning friends and the TH (the husband for future references), who had been so far pretty hands-off, started to give me their two cents. It started with a Magoosh membership that still has a month of juice left in it and had ‘helped her soooooo much‘ and then reams of questions and practice tests both PDF and adaptive that ‘will guarantee a 700+‘ .  As this material has been piling on my desk, I went ahead and also go myself the 6 full CATs from MGMAT because for all their helpfulness none of the people I spoke with had these mock test for me to run through and pace myself on.


Sadly, with this huge mound of material, I am feeling quite overwhelmed. I had hoped to use this long weekend, the only days off I have before my test exactly 4 weeks later, to do something about it. And to help me do that, I offered to join TH at his project site, Wilmington DE. He assured me it was a city that offered no distractions and that he would be working with his nose to the grindstone himself both on Wednesday and Friday, giving me enough time to tame my practice schedule. What neither of us accounted for was my inability to focus outside of my trusted study table at my apartment and how ridiculously relaxing a plush king bed of a hotel room can be. 😐 Having checked out this afternoon from the damn hotel and spending time trying to study at a Starbucks has been a tad better. Before I could drown myself in the cup of Iced Caramel Machhiato, I saw that my accuracy hasn’t suffered due to this dilly dallying of the last few weeks. Phew!

Most of the schools I would like to apply to are already out with their application and not surprisingly, my main applications are due on 1st October for R1. I am still debating between Wharton/Kellogg and I guess my GMAT score and meeting a few people from both schools could help make it clearer which is a better fit. I’ll do a longer post about my schools and the why later, once this GMAT beast has been tamed. In the meanwhile, I got the following locked down:

a) Recommendation writers – I know I mentioned this to Hamm and PoeticQuant, but I spoke to one of my recommendation writers and he graciously agreed. My other recommendation writer is going to be my manager and she hasn’t so far given me any indications about her unwillingness to support me in this. But I’ll officially ask her by the end of this month. I haven’t had a chance to look this up online but is anyone keeping a third recommendation writer spare, you know just-in-case?
2. The other thing that had me beaming all day long last week was my ‘Why MBA?’. I have struggled to articulate it in a non-shallow way ever since I was 17 :-p and the first time I wanted to do MBA as a master’s course. AND FINALLY, in my head and in my notes I have been able to connect the dots leading up to today that should make it difficult for adcoms to at least poke holes in it. That did make me very happy 🙂

See you all soon!

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Posted by on July 5, 2013 in Future, Musings, Rant, To - do, Uncategorized


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